


A Breath of My Carbon Dioxide

by timeittells



Category: No Fandom, Original Work, Poetry - Fandom
Genre: Bad Poetry, Dreams and Nightmares, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Loss of Control, Love Poems, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Poetry, Sad, Sadish, Trans Male Character, flashback to that time I wrote this poem, regular updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-06 06:01:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20502080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeittells/pseuds/timeittells
Summary: some poetry about being momentlessI just need to get my soul out there with the least exposure possiblealso, just mature for language starting chapter 11





	1. Medium

**Author's Note:**

> This one's awful  
but like its fine

If you love me  
Why don’t you grab hold of me  
And never let go?  
If you love me  
Why do we hold still  
Frozen in time  
Pulsing for something more  
I can’t help waiting for you  
But I don’t want to wait anymore.


	2. Subsequent Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you egg

When you dreamed last  
Did you catch me?  
Did you catch my smoking body  
Or did you release  
because I burned  
your hands?  
If my experiment explodes  
The world will light on fire  
We need it  
Take the fire  
We need the world to burn  
The day I met the queen  
She said the world should  
burn  
I thought she should take a run  
to a McDonalds or perhaps  
a nearby Walmart  
but  
I did not raise my voice  
Because then she wouldn't catch me


	3. Another Lost Thing

What was she?  
Proud to die  
Dickinson carries the name  
and she owned her death  
like it was a doll  
she danced with  
pretending she wasn´t alone  
For she was proud to die  
proud to lengthen  
Flux  
Fluxuate  
This is her joy  
Choose joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what gives, non-existant readers?


	4. Take Another Guess Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres basil in there guys you just have to look for him

"You cannot judge my character"  
says the softness in your breath  
How many times will you leave me out in the snow  
before I learn my lesson?  
I know I cannot trust you  
From the softness in your breath  
I hear  
the gunshots  
two  
one for each of us.  
But where is the gun? Who has the gun?  
I feel the chill  
I know it is the softness in your breath  
Winter knows our character  
it knows us from the softness in our breath  
You can see it.  
America breathes together  
breathes apart  
I want to breathe apart from you  
I don't want to know  
The softness in your breath  
There is no softness in your breath  
I love the softness in your breath  
How much of me is in the softness in your breath?


	5. One last echo

This is the way the story goes  
The sun is gone  
It starts to snow  
"Evil cloaked in coat of white"  
Lives find this is  
Their last plight-  
Never regained  
The warmth of light  
They fight.  
And lose.

Sickness preys  
On the young and lost  
Parents die  
Coved in frost  
And children cry  
No more gloss  
Like children should have  
When they're young.

That's the way  
The story goes  
Those who think  
The story flows  
In peace like water  
And with a soft glow  
Are wrong.  
They're wrong.


	6. metch

I've been  
disinfected.


	7. brick by brick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alrighty folks

What happens to the other girls?  
the Shallow  
Fake  
Pretenders.  
The men fall in love with  
The girls that are real  
But what about the others?  
The ones who wave  
and flirt  
and lie  
The ones who  
study,  
primp  
and spy,  
leering at boys for love.  
What happens to them?  
What happens to girls like me?


	8. Here I am Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess whos not writing an essay

"Get out the homework,"  
She said  
And she could not hide her disappointment  
When she saw I didn't do it.  
I shook my head and said, "I don't,"  
And she saw in my eyes  
What I meant.  
She feigned ignorance  
But her hands could not act  
And a note went home to my mom.  
The next day  
I turn in my homework  
With a customary "I don't"  
She laughed without Looking at my face  
to see what I meant.  
Maybe she didn't want to.


	9. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnnnnywhooooo

Here we are always  
Bitter meat  
Dreaming woman  
Sordid music  
The truth is mean  
Friendship love repulsive  
Wishes  
wishes.


	10. How to Write a Stereotypical Poem in Which You Learn a Lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is friggin awful my guys

The father of diamonds  
Once said to she,  
'Why do you cry? this world  
lives easy.'  
'Maybe for you,'  
she said with a sigh  
It seems like every person  
passes me by  
without a word,  
without a word.  
It was then that  
the girl's sister rushed in  
'Mother is sick;  
we need you within.  
She followed her sister  
to her mother in bed  
White faced and crying,  
the mother said

nothing

and died

without a word,  
without a word.  
And the girl went back out  
and cried again  
and was sorry  
she wished for something bigger  
than herself.


	11. He Told Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friggin awful

He told me today  
They can't see him.  
They can't see past  
his hips  
his breasts  
his pussy.  
They can't see.  
I'd like to tell them  
What I see  
his steadiness  
his loyalty  
his love.  
They can't see him.  
I'd like to tell them  
fuck off.


	12. what a trash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drank spoiled milk this morning rip me

This is the place  
One goes to die  
I know the phrase  
I know the lie  
Rereading poems  
to find a rhyme  
experiments  
in meter and time  
God help me.  
I messed up-  
in every way  
in only eight lines  
that's not a real rhyme  
thats not iambic dimeter  
that doesn't mean anything.  
Chemistry is  
fucking fuckery  
But I'm tapping my toe  
and I guess that's okay.

Gah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I tried meter with no rhyme  
and then there was rhyme  
and I gave up  
ehhhhh


	13. chanpeter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was like two years ago  
and its also meter?  
so I'm doin it  
but there's random breaks in the rhythm so yuh  
milk

Why  
lift the sky  
when it can be split  
switch  
why lift the sky  
to help humanity survive  
when you know it's a charade  
call my name  
I can hold it up for you  
I will lift the sky for you  
and I am the sky for you  
leave me alone my love  
soon you will see  
the sky is a better job for me  
I hate the charade.

You said you'd milk the sun for me  
The milk I see  
Is the moon's  
don't lie.  
When you bent upon your knee  
I thought you'd send for me  
I thought you would  
I thought I should  
come anyway  
but then you say:

I knew that you would come for me  
You know you mean the world to me  
I need help lift the sky for me   
I must join to world  
Help me.

It was days before I saw  
How many times you said me  
selfishly.  
and when you said world you meant  
charade.  
You said I meant the world to you  
but you traded me for the world  
you didn't know it was a charade,  
but still you played.  
Have fun in the charade.


	14. milkitymilkity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> milkkkk

It's home  
I say  
to the woman who knocks on my door  
"It's home."  
She looks skeptical  
at the ex-open space  
now filled with the worst of the worst.  
"It's home."

She turns away  
I'm not worth it  
not worth her time.  
It's home,  
though  
and she cannot take it away.  
I turn and see  
my home.

My home is a broken place  
full of broken people  
so says the woman  
as she walks away  
and I believe her.  
But, hey,  
It's home.


	15. ı

I am the ghost  
You see in your dreams  
I am stuck between worlds

Caught in a drift  
In the place where no 't's are crossed and no 'i's are dotted  
I am the spırıl  
crying ın the nıghl  
I am the only one who knows you are here.

You no longer see me  
You know longer no me  
you looked in my heart  
you saıd there's nolhıng  
nolhıng here

You're ınvısıble when you're sad  
the demons like to keep me up  
they shake me awake and I know  
I know why you leſl me alone  
I'm ınvısıble and I'm gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes I know some is have dots and some ts have crosses  
and yes I dıd lhe ſ thıng  
and yes I know the t-l makes it harder to read  
I hope y'all got the right rhythm for this one


	16. I don't even need a title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so done

The dead girl eyed the living boy  
His eyes held so much love.  
The words unsaid said so much more  
And push soon gave to shove.  
So much in his crystal skin  
A dream within a dream.  
The dead girl smiled without a word  
And without knowing his name.


End file.
